Clip of the Week

I've got 4 or 5 posts that I'm hoping to publish today, but realistically I'll be happy with 2 or 3. We'll start with your Clip of the Week, because that's always good times.

There were a couple of oldie-but-goodie clips that popped back onto my radar this week, and they definitely gave the new clips a run for their money. There was this compilation of the top 10 luckiest golf shots (stick around for #1, it's a doozy), and also this strange collection of Japanese ballplayers doing the bat-flip after home runs, which is apparently a thing over there. Oddly mesmerizing.

But I'm still going to go with the new stuff this week. We had this awesome save by the Dallas Stars' Kari Lehtonen (yes, hockey is back, but I'm sure you already knew that), and also Jimmy Fallon and Brian Williams slow-jamming the debt ceiling (which was excellent).

But none of these clips held a candle to the awesomest little puppy in the world, a pitbull named Bandit. Little guy just wants to get in some treadmill work, help a brother out, right? I'm sure we can all relate to this pup's uphill battle. Keep up the good work, Bandit, you're this week's Clip of the Week.

Clip of the Week

Alright, it's Clip of the Week time, and I'm not going to do the Christmas theme (or the Mayan theme) even though I probably should.

The runner-up videos are fewer than in a typical week, but they make up in quality what they lack in quantity. If you're concerned about GMOs (or even if you're not, or even if you have no idea what GMOs are), then this video shared by Barry Ritholtz is an absolute must. It provides an excellent primer on the issue while also being fairly entertaining.

Also, the Year-in-Review type of stuff is now starting to come through in earnest, and we'll start it off with this excellent pop music mashup video first posted by the good old Red Cowboy. And speaking of Year-in-Review, this absolutely horrendous free throw has to be in the running for the worst sports play of the year. It just doesn't get much worse.

But this week I'm going back to my old reliable, with another excellent animal-related clip. If this laughing camel (hey, come to think of it, this sort of does go along with the Christmas theme, doesn't it?) doesn't make you smile and forget about the fiscal cliff and the Mayans and all the Christmas presents that you still haven't bought because you thought the world was gonna end today and you just really didn't think it was necessary to spend your money on gifts for your aunts and uncles and cousins and small children that you'd never have the opportunity to see them open—hypothetically speaking, of course—then I really don't think there's any hope for you. This guy is the best.


Thank you, Killagroove, for a terrific heads-up.

Clip of the Week (Double Feature)

Since I never got around to posting the Clip of the Week last week, this week's super special Thanksgiving Clip of the Week will be a double feature.

If you've ever wondered about why (or whined about the fact that) MTV doesn't play music videos anymore, this video has your answer (hint: it's your fault). If you've enjoyed my previous Jimmy Kimmel clips, then you're sure to enjoy this bit on unnecessary censorship. And if you love super-slo-mo videos as much as I do, these guys do a great job of taking you behind the scenes of how they get made (it's long, but it's worth it).

There's also a few sports videos, which I don't feel like running through entirely, so... college football, college football (UVA), soccer, soccer (USA). You're welcome.

There were also a couple of posts that were directly or peripherally attached to my hometown of Wellesley, MA, where I happen to be right now. This car accident was amazing (wait for it...), and I scouted out the location this week and still can't figure out how it happened. Also, this clip of historian David McCullough on 60 Minutes is very eye-opening with respect to the historical ignorance of the coming generation of Americans. McCullough happens to live in the Boston area, and his son is a teacher at my old high school here in town—his "you're not special" commencement speech earlier this year went viral and garnered national attention.

But let's get to the point. Here's your first Clip of the Week, of an elephant painting an elephant. Just watch it... in fast forward, if you insist.



And the second one comes to you via Barry Ritholtz, and it's a product of the Red Bull Kluge project. It's a human Rube Goldberg machine, and it's pretty awesome to watch.



Happy Thanksgiving, people. Enjoy your weekend.

The 100k chicken coop

Some things, you just have to let speak for themselves. I present to you, courtesy of Needless Markups (ahem, that's... Neiman Marcus), the $100,000 Chicken Coop.

Dawn breaks. The hens descend from their bespoke Versailles-inspired Le Petit Trianon house to their playground below for a morning wing stretch. Slipping on your wellies, you start for the coop and are greeted by the pleasant clucking of your specially chosen flock and the site of the poshest hen house ever imagined. Your custom-made multilevel dwelling features a nesting area, a "living room" for nighttime roosting, a broody room, a library filled with chicken and gardening books for visitors of the human kind, and, of course, an elegant chandelier. The environment suits them well as you notice the fresh eggs awaiting morning collection. Nearby, you pick fresh vegetables or herbs from your custom-built raised gardens. You've always fancied yourself a farmer—now thanks to Heritage Hen Farm, you're doing it in the fanciest way possible!

Alright, fine, I'll comment. This whole thing sounds like it was written and conceived by Elaine Benes for the J. Peterman Catalog. All you need is an Urban Sombrero to cap the whole thing off.

But don't worry, Neiman Marcus is willing to donate $3k of your $100k purchase to The American Livestock Breeds Conservancy... but if you've got $100k to piss away in the first place, you should probably just give it all to the Conservancy in the first place. It'll be a much better use of the money.

[Neiman Marcus]
(h/t inhabitat.com)

Clip of the Week

One of the good things about going on vacation is that I now have two weeks worth of material for Clip of the Week, some of which I'm choosing to hold back until next week, because I can.

So while I could choose to make fun of NBC's coverage of the Olympics by posting this unfortunately timed promo for an NBC show, NBC's way too easy a target, and we've all moved on by now anyway (which means that this volleyball play, cool as it may have been, is also out of the running, as is this interactive graphic about the 100-meter dash).

I'm also going to pass on the baseball highlights (and lowlights) for now, because I'm sure we'll have plenty of them to choose from over the coming weeks as the pennant races heat up. So, sorry, Roger Bernadina... but keep up the good work.

I gave serious consideration to Jimmy Fallon's Jim Morrison impression, as he does a Doors version of the Reading Rainbow theme—I find Fallon to be extremely annoying, but he's at his absolute best when he's doing this kind of stuff—but I chose instead to give this week's clip to the world's fastest birds.

This clip is mesmerizing, and it involves animals, two things that I'm always a sucker for in Clip of the Week. So blow this up full screen and enjoy. It's pretty awesome.

Quote of the Week

It's time for this week's Quote of the Week. I first thought about giving the honor to this article, because the concept of a "duckeasy" is just amazing. But I don't honestly like foie gras that much, so I can't get all that excited about it.

Instead, I'm going to pass along this story about George, a two-year-old basset hound who inadvertently saved his own life by dialing 999 (the British equivalent of 911) after getting entangled in a telephone cord and nearly choking to death. Smart dog... kinda.

This week's QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“He’s not usually very smart. He’s really dopey and just likes to chew socks.”
                                - Lydia Brown, owner of George the basset hound

Good for George. Let's get this guy some tickets to the Olympics.

[The Sun]

Creepy

I've written here before a couple of times about genetically modified foods, and how they frankly terrify me. Without going too deep into my reasons or the details, suffice it to say we have a new winner in the Creepy Food Olympics.

Chinese scientists have genetically modified dairy cows to produce human breast milk, and hope to be selling it in supermarkets within three years. 

The milk produced by the transgenic cows is identical to the human variety and has the same immune-boosting and antibacterial qualities as breast milk, scientists at China's Agricultural University in Beijing say. 

The transgenic herd of 300 was bred by inserting human genes into cloned cow embryos which were then implanted into surrogate cows. 

The technology was similar to that used to produce Dolly the sheep. 

The milk is still undergoing safety tests but with government permission it will be sold to consumers as a more nutritious dairy drink than cow's milk.

And why wouldn't the government give their permission? Governments are experts on unintended consequences, right? If they don't see anything wrong with this, then what could possibly go wrong?

[Sky News]

Clip of the Week

Clip of the Week time! Let me first say that I strongly considered giving the honor to Nigel Farage for the second straight week, after this great interview with Fox Business. Simply put, Nigel is on fire right now.

But I like variety. Variety like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Chicago's Wieners Circle, or crazy kickball highlights. Or, since Euro 2012 soccer is going on over in Poland/Ukraine, I could've given you this amazing goal from England's Danny Welbeck or this even better offering from Sweden's Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

I also could've gone with a baseball highlight like this catch by the Cubs' Starlin Castro... but we've got plenty of months of baseball left, so we'll save that for October.

Instead, I'm going back to the animal video well, because it's always reliable and oh my god look at that baby duck he's awesome. Be sure to stick around for the money shot around the 40-second mark.

Clip of the Week

Alright, Clip of the Week time. You've actually got co-champions this week, but one of them I'm holding back for your Song of the Week(end). So stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, Bryce Harper is a tool but he amuses me. Go Nationals (and thank God one of my teams is playing well, because the Sox are killing me right now). We've also got one of the better internet video mashups I've seen in a while, combining the "Rent is Too Damn High" guy with the movie "Up". And SNL continued its recent revival with a vulgar but hilarious fake Mother's Day ad for Amazon.

But this week's Clip is going to be another one from the world of animals, because this clip is awesome. Note to current and aspiring parents: don't dress your kids up in outfits that make them look like baby zebras. It's not safe.

 

More on life inequality

Racking up $4,000 monthly restaurant tabs didn't impress you? You didn't care for the private plane transportation to summer camp? Don't worry, there's more...

The trend of celebrity-style pet pampering is one the rise, producing ever-greater demand for freakily fancy products and services. You can fly dear Fido in high style on a specially outfitted pet airline. Whiskers can relax in gold-plated splendor at Disney’s recently launched Best Friends Pet Care luxury dog and cat resort. An attentive "certified" camp counselor will care for his every whim. 

But the biggest emerging trend of all? That would be giving dead pets the star treatment. Even in a sluggish economy, companies are making a fortune from the rituals and services sought by grieving pet owners. Clever marketers are finding new ways to give adored pets a glamorous send-off into the afterlife... 

The modest backyard burial has given way to the professional ceremony, complete with lace-trimmed casket and religious readings. If you’ve ever seen documentary-maker Errol Morris’s indelible Gates of Heaven, you know that pet cemeteries have been around for a few decades. But the International Association of Pet Cemeteries and Crematories in Georgia reports that pet funerals are dramatically increasing. 

In the U.S., costs for a pet funeral starts at around $800 — and sky’s pretty much the limit from there. The "Royal Pet Casket," boasting three layers of foam and waterproof materials, is sold on the PetHeavenExpress Web site for $458. The elegant "Gold Cherry Blossom Hour Glass Cremation Urn," available from Perfect Memorials, comes in at $499.95. Does all that seem a bit cheap for Precious? Then go Nile-style and have your dog mummified for $30,000. Freeze-dried preservation is a less expensive option, but it will still run you several hundred dollars. 

Perhaps you’d prefer to wear your dead pet. You can do that by having the corpse rendered into a synthetic diamond with a company called LifeGem. For realz.

This is good stuff, especially when you read that 25% of Americans expect to out-work their own life expectancy. Good times.

Granted, just because somebody's selling this dumb shit doesn't actually mean anyone's buying it--but hey, it's worth a shot, right? On the plus side, maybe we can solve our long-term unemployment problem by simply creating more pet-related businesses...

[Naked Capitalism]

Clip of the Week

I'm working on a couple of posts for tomorrow (one in which I debunk some more dubious math and another in which I engage in some dubious data wrangling myself), which I may or may not have ready for the blog in time for the weekend. For now, you can all enjoy the best clips the internet has to offer--since I missed last week's post, this week has plenty of material.

Since it's March, that means March Madness, which means we've got plenty of basketball videos. Even though the first weekend of the NCAA tourney was a little light on "did you see that?" highlights, you should still watch this dunk (from the SEC tourney) and this awesome reaction video after Norfolk State's upset win over Missouri (which is almost as awesome as the Landon Donovan reaction videos from the last World Cup, but not quite).

The NBA also decided to get into the act (yeah, I know, nobody cares) with this Rajon Rondo pass and this absurd Gerald Green dunk (your move, Blake Griffin).

Over in the world of economics and politics, we have this fantastic rant from British politician Nigel Farage about the current state of the European economy (certainly not his first great rant, but one of his best) as well as this terrific TED talk about the absurdity of "copyright math" (more to come on this topic very soon).

Other random yet awesome video clips include Kevin Spacey's amazing impressions, an incredibly well-done compilation of all the seismic activity in the world in 2011 (be sure to check the Fukushima earthquake at the 1:50 mark, which makes our little earthquake at the 4:35 mark seem agonizingly pathetic and insignificant), and a rendition of Adele's "Rollin' in the Deep", played on a traditional Chinese instrument, because why not?

But as you already know by now, none of these clips are your Clip of the Week. So without further ado, and with apologies to South Park's amazing take on the global gold cycle, I'm going to continue in my recent string of animal-related videos by presenting you with Klepto Kitty, a real-life cat burglar. My cat is nowhere near as cool as this guy. Enjoy (fast-forward to the 1:20 mark if you're too impatient to watch the whole thing).

Clip of the Week

Just like last Friday, I'm going to send you all into the weekend with a quick flurry of posts. First it's Clip of the Week, then it's a random sports-related post, then we'll cap things off with your Song of the Week(end).

So first, it's Clip of the Week. Some decent stuff this week, most notably this ridiculous college hoops buzzer-beater and the dumbest play in NBA history. There was also a really cool video of a bridge implosion on the West Virginia/Ohio border, which I could honestly watch all day for some reason (if you play that one, turn down your volume... apparently blowing up bridges is loud).

But you know what this week needs? Monkeys. Lots of monkeys. What week doesn't, right?

Clip of the Week

This was a tragically slow week for video clips--at least, for video clips that don't involve missed field goals and muffed punts and "yo soy fiestas".

Sure, there was an entertaining clip comparing the U.S. debt situation to a family budget, and there was the Indiana Pacers' mascot ending a high school basketball game at halftime by blowing up a backboard. There was also this cool new camera technology (which follows up on this video that I posted way back when), but none of these are really cutting it for me.

So what's a guy to do when he can't decide on a good Clip of the Week? Beluga whale dancing to mariachis, of course. This one always makes me smile. Have a good night, peoples.

Clip of the Week

Since I refuse to post anything Tebow-related in the leadup to Saturday night's showdown with my Patriots (and since the rest of the NFL Playoff games last weekend were, frankly, worthless), I'm left with little else to choose from for this week's Clip of the Week (since it seems that the rest of the world outside of sports hasn't really woken up to 2012 yet... still).

So while I considered giving Clip of the Week to this awesome save in the World Hockey Juniors, I just couldn't pass up this crazy video of a crow... apparently teaching himself how to snowboard. The animals are learning to use tools, and we need to be aware. As usual, I blame the penguins.

Be careful out there, folks. It's Friday the 13th.

This guy is awesome

I want to eat this guy for Thanksgiving--I think I'd enjoy that much more than the usual turkey, especially now that I know that basically 100 percent of turkeys in this country are created through artificial insemination (who knew turkeys were sex-starved?).

An incredible electric-blue lobster has been saved from the dinner table after it was spotted at a fish market and rehomed.

The striking crustacean was found by stunned fishermen off the east coast of Scotland and displayed for sale at a fish market in London.

However, fishmonger Rex Goldsmith thought the stunning lobster was too nice to eat and bought it before handing it over to researchers at the Natural History Museum.

Scientists at the museum believe the European lobster, traditionally a much darker shade of blue, hatched out with the unusual colour due to a rare genetic variant.

Whatever the reason, this guy is seriously trippy. Apparently, when cooked, he turns red just like any other lobster--and, presumably, tastes delicious with a side of drawn butter.

[Daily Mail]

More Fairfax

A couple of days ago I used an example from Fairfax, Virginia to help prove a point about the dangers of over-regulation. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe people in Fairfax, Virginia just suck. To wit...

A dispute between neighbors in Fairfax County over that perennial suburban pet peeve — unscooped dog poop — has grown so big that the case is set to go to a jury Tuesday.

A dog walker invested $1,200 in her defense, and a supposed eyewitness will testify. A photo of the offending pile will be admitted as evidence.

The fluffy 19-pound Westie-bichon frise mix will stay home.

The case is just one flash point in an increasingly sophisticated, expensive and acrimonious battle over dog waste in the Washington suburbs and beyond. Two Northern Virginia apartment complexes have signed on for PooPrints, a service that collects DNA samples from pooches, taking a “CSI”-style approach to find the culprits of unclaimed messes...

[Complainant Virginia] Cornell, who works in the legal profession, said she took a photo of the waste that she plans to submit as evidence at trial, along with testimony from the police officer who took the complaint.

“She was letting the dog poop on purpose because she knew it annoyed us,” Cornell said, referring to herself and a sister who lives with her. “This individual has no respect or regard for anyone else and views herself as above the law.” 

You people are morons. Stop wasting our courts' time with this crap (pun intended). DNA samples from piles of dog excrement? That's what we've come to? Seriously, get this thing out of our courts and figure it out yourselves. I'm tired of this, and we've got bigger things to worry about up there in the D.C. area right now. I love Virginia, but there are days where I really wish I could disown Northern Virginia. Today is most certainly one of those days.

[Washington Post]

Clip of the Week

Alright, I got my ranting out of my system yesterday (actually, there's more to come, but whatever...), so now it's time for Clip of the Week. Of course, Clip of the Week isn't always immune from ranting and complaining--just give this video a quick watch and you'll know that it was hard for me to contain myself after watching it.

But I'm looking for some happier stuff this week. Happy stuff like this really cool time-lapse video of some beautiful landscapes. Or this video of Steelers safety Troy Polamalu pretending to be a wax statue to scare small children (honestly, that would have been my Clip of the Week, but the Cowboy scooped me on it too soon--so be it, he's better at this stuff than I am).

There's also this amusing parody movie trailer, "Too Much Moneyball"--the inspiring story of the Yankees' amazing ability to overcome absolutely no obstacles and win championships. That's a winner.

But this time, I'm just going to go ahead and give a nod to nature. Yeah, humans may rule the world now... but they still can't hold a candle to an antelope in a street fight. BOOM!

Clip of the Week

I'm basically a day behind in all things blog-related, so I'm just now posting your belated Clip of the Week. While I really, really, really want to post this epic rant from Dylan Ratigan (especially pertinent given the events of the last couple of weeks, and the impact they've had on the markets that I make my living following), I just feel like it's not what this week needs.

No, what this week needs is something mindlessly happy... something that makes very little sense, but somehow makes us smile anyway as we recognize that life, for all the craziness and chaos that we get so worked up over on a daily basis, is ultimately just to be enjoyed. So with that in mind, I present to you... beluga whale dancing with mariachis.



That whale just looks awesomely happy. I want to be that whale. He has no idea that the world is drowning in debt, and he couldn't care less. Tonight, I think I'll grab a margarita and listen to some mariachi music and just try to be half as happy as that whale.

New Zealand is the world's shepherd

That headline is meant literally, according to this graphic from The Economist, which tracks the nations with the heaviest concentrations of livestock (focusing on the four most common animals--chickens, cattle, pigs, and sheep).

I think the most interesting thing to look at here is not the gross numbers (by that count, China leads almost every category based on its sheer size and population), but the relative numbers on the right side of the charts.

That is where we learn some interesting tidbits that I had no clue about. For instance, who knew that the Sudan and Ethiopia had so many cattle (4th and 5th-most per capita on the list, respectively), or that Iran had so many chickens? Why does Denmark absolutely lap the field in pigs per person? And why is the USA nowhere to be found on the list of sheep producers (should we blame "Mary Had a Little Lamb" and Lamb Chop for personifying sheep and making us not want to eat lamb)?

One thing, though, is for sure: New Zealand produces a whole lot of sheep. They are, apparently, the world's shepherd.

I'll be in and out again today (following these markets, it's clear that I'm not alone), so my apologies in advance if I don't post much. Be careful out there.

[Economist]

Friends don't let friends drink and... shop?

This one comes out of the "too weird not to report" camp...

Inebriated passers-by are falling in love with playful pooches frolicking in the window of a West Village pet store, and the problem has become so bad the owner has banned them from taking the pets home.

"I feel like they always come in drunk," said Fernanda Moritz, the manager of Le Petite Puppy at 18 Christopher St. which has implemented a policy against letting customers buy — or even hold — animals if they've been drinking.

The shop is surrounded by bars, and Moritz said many of her would-be customers stop in after happy hour around 6 p.m.

"They come from there and say 'let's stop by to see the puppies,'" said Moritz.

Amazingly the store, which has supplied puppies to celebrities including Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Jackman, isn't the only one in the neighborhood forced to implement the ban.

Christopher Street's Citipups also forbids intoxicated customers from purchasing puppies.

Yup, that sounds like the Village to me... I mean, I guess there are worse things you can do when you've been drinking, but this definitely falls in the category of "bad decisions".

I've had some bad hangovers in my life, but I can only imagine they'd have been that much worse if I'd been awoken by a barking dog at 5 in the morning. Seriously, people, don't drink and puppy-shop. Nobody benefits.

[DNAinfo.com]