Dawn breaks. The hens descend from their bespoke Versailles-inspired Le Petit Trianon house to their playground below for a morning wing stretch. Slipping on your wellies, you start for the coop and are greeted by the pleasant clucking of your specially chosen flock and the site of the poshest hen house ever imagined. Your custom-made multilevel dwelling features a nesting area, a "living room" for nighttime roosting, a broody room, a library filled with chicken and gardening books for visitors of the human kind, and, of course, an elegant chandelier. The environment suits them well as you notice the fresh eggs awaiting morning collection. Nearby, you pick fresh vegetables or herbs from your custom-built raised gardens. You've always fancied yourself a farmer—now thanks to Heritage Hen Farm, you're doing it in the fanciest way possible!
Alright, fine, I'll comment. This whole thing sounds like it was written and conceived by Elaine Benes for the J. Peterman Catalog. All you need is an Urban Sombrero to cap the whole thing off.
But don't worry, Neiman Marcus is willing to donate $3k of your $100k purchase to The American Livestock Breeds Conservancy... but if you've got $100k to piss away in the first place, you should probably just give it all to the Conservancy in the first place. It'll be a much better use of the money.