Yeah, I've been a little M.I.A. this week, and I apologize for that. With the baby around and Christmas coming up, I've been a bit preoccupied. But I do have a Quote of the Week for you, and it's a real doozy.
As our friends over at Deadspin have pointed out, Christmas has a way of turning kids into complete and utter crazy people. Personally, I can't wait until my daughter is old enough to terrorize me around the holidays, wondering aloud why Santa was more generous to her friends than to her--should be fun times. Case in point:
This week's QUOTE OF THE WEEK
This Christmas, I don't ask for much, so if I don't get at least two of these things I want, I will literally KILL you! Do you understand? Oh, also, I'll hunt down your reindeers, cook them & serve their meat to homeless people on Christmas Day. Nobody wants that... so here's what I want..."
-British 13-year-old Mekeeda Austin
Little miss Keedy then goes on to list a series of modest requests--a visit from Justin Bieber, a Blackberry, and "Money". The full text of the letter is here, if you can read it:
Of course, I'm a bit of a jackass, so if I got this letter I'd respond by punishing her poor grammar and her lack of specificity. By not capitalizing "Blackberry", she's indicated that she doesn't want a smartphone (why would a 13-year-old need or want a Blackberry anyway?), but a single piece of fruit. And she asked for "Money", without specifying what kind or how much. Therefore, congratulations Mekeeda! Your wish has been granted--this Christmas you're getting one single blackberry and 5,000 Confederate dollars. I trust that this satisfies your requests, as you've made them, and that Santa and his reindeer (I'm sorry, "reindeers"--there you go with that poor grammar again) can therefore sleep comfortably tonight.
Obviously, this letter is a bit of a far cry from the heartbreaking Dear Santa letters that I highlighted last year, and it really makes me shake my head. Without overanalyzing the actions of a 13-year-old too much, it's pretty sad to see just how entitled some people (both young and old alike) feel these days.
As the little girl said in a follow-up interview, "I don't really believe in Santa anymore, but I was angry because I thought I was going to get all the presents I wanted this year. I want all of these things and I don't see why I shouldn't get them." Perfect. Great attitude. Hey Mekeeda, maybe you should direct your next letter to the Fed--Mr. Bernanke seems to respond well to people who think they deserve the world.
[NY Daily News]