Now there's this article in Businessweek, discussing the Italian government's plan to begin drug testing the country's stock traders, because obviously their cocaine use--and not the government's excessive use of debt--is to blame for recent stock market volatility.
An undersecretary for Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has proposed a drug-testing program for stock traders, citing studies that point to a “worrisome” link between substance abuse and market fluctuations.
Some Italians may have entrusted savings to people “not capable of making decisions” due to drug use, Carlo Giovanardi said in a phone interview today from Belluno, Italy.
Giovanardi, who’s responsible for the government’s family and drug-abuse prevention policy, said he plans to contact regulators and industry groups working with the stock exchange to discuss the drug-testing plan. The program could be developed without the passage of a new law, he said.This is good stuff. It gets even better and more Onion-y, and I took the liberty of editing the next paragraph for Businessweek.
Giovanardi, who last year promoted a voluntary drug test for members of parliament, also cited “U.S. studies” suggesting recent market turmoil may have been amplified by “There. That's better. Seriously, I'm getting really tired of the misdirection plays being employed by politicians around the world to distract from the core problem of too much government debt. It's not the debt that's the problem... it's CHINA! No, it's the IMMIGRANTS! No, it's those drug-popping stock traders, they're the real problem!!
peoplepoliticians and central bankers who’ve lost touch with reality” due to drug use. The undersecretary said cocaine use has a “devastating” effect on individualspoliticians, leading to “brain meltdown.”
When did our whole political process become an episode of The Simpsons? This is really rich stuff, guys. Keep up the good work, leaders of the free world.